


Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

by anyrei, mugglerock



Series: Destiel Advent Calendar 2019 [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Christmas, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Voicemail Abuse, Xmas Fix It, thank you mariah carey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21828667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/pseuds/anyrei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: They’re singing Deck the Halls, but it’s not like Christmas at all...If you read this anywhere that is not ao3 this content was stolen without the author's consent! Pls don't support thieves! Read this on ao3!
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel Advent Calendar 2019 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558915
Comments: 9
Kudos: 127
Collections: The AnyRock Collection





	Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

**Author's Note:**

> Any here: One scene in here was inspired by another christmas short fic (Day 16) Frankie and Ruk wrote. They only told me about it and I hadn't seen it before I wrote on this story but now I get why people love kid!fics. Have fun :D

**Day 17 - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)**

It was a few days before Christmas and Cas was stuck in Chinook, Montana. His car had broken down on a case, hunting a Wendigo, and he had been forced to take a motel room, waiting for the nice man from the car repair service to call him. The man had told him that due to the heavy snowfall and the holiday, it might take some days to get the parts, but that he was trying his best so Cas could get home for Christmas. Cas didn’t tell him that he didn’t have a home to get to.

Right next to the motel was the Aunt Millie’s coffee and burger restaurant, so he had decided to spend some time there, doing what he liked best. Watching humans.

He was drinking coffee, his palms holding the cup to warm up his hands as he watched a family with two young boys enter the restaurant and sit down in the corner booth across from him. One of the boys had longer brown hair, the other shorter hair and his face full of freckles. 

Cas sighed and looked in a different direction. He tried to concentrate on the lyrics of the song that was playing,

_ The snow's comin' down _

_ (Christmas) I'm watchin' it fall _

_ (Christmas) lots of people around _

_ (Christmas) baby, please come home _

Maybe listening to the song  _ wasn’t  _ such a good idea. He dumped more sugar in his coffee and stirred it.

_ They're singing Deck The Halls _

_ But it's not like Christmas at all _

_ 'Cause I remember when you were here _

_ And all the fun we had last year _

He wondered if the universe was trying to tell him something. Cas pulled out his phone and stared at it, hoping the man from the car repair service would finally call him. He needed to get out of this town, back on the road, or on a case so he wouldn’t have time to think. He didn’t have time to miss Dean. 

Cas bit down hard on his lip. He really didn’t want to miss him. 

“Hewo,” the little boy with the freckles greeted him suddenly, standing next to his chair. He was probably four, a few of his front teeth were missing. 

“Hello,” Cas greeted back slowly, turning around to see where his parents were. The woman and the other kid were gone, and the father seemed to be busy on his phone.

Cas frowned and looked at the child as he clumsily climbed up onto the other chair at Cas’s table. “Whaff ya’ name?” 

“Castiel,” Cas folded his hands around his cup. “What’s yours?”

“Ryyan,” he answered. “Whe is ywoo family?”

Cas swallowed dryly. He didn’t want to upset the kid with an honest answer, so he asked instead, “Funny, I wanted to ask you the same. Where is your family?”

Ryan pointed at the table where the man was sitting with his phone, who still didn’t seem to have noticed that his kid had wandered away. “Dats ma Dad. He is buwy. And ma brova Jaden needed to pee and momma helps. Is ywoo family peeing?” Ryan looked to the direction of the bathroom expectantly, as if Cas’s family would appear at any second.

“Um, no. They are…” What should he say? That he didn’t have a family? That he had lost them? That he couldn’t come home, because his feelings for Dean were too deep and too painful to deal with Dean’s anger and hate towards him? “In another state.”

“Ohhh.” Ryan nodded, he appeared serious and thoughtful. “I can tell almowt all the thates. Alabama, Alawka, Ariwona, Ar...kwansaw, Caliphonia… um.”

“That’s very impressive,” Cas replied with a smile.

“Thank you.” Ryan grinned proudly. “Whe if ywoo family? Wish thate`?”

“Kansas.” In that moment Ryan’s mom came back from the bathroom with the other child holding her hand, widening her eyes when she saw Ryan. She quickly came over to Cas’s table.

“Oh, I hope he wasn’t bothering you,” She apologized as she held her hand out for Ryan. “He loves to wander around and talk to everybody.”

Cas shook his head. “It’s alright. It was very educational. Ryan knows a lot of states.”

His mother laughed and pulled Ryan from the chair and into her arms. “Say goodbye, Ryan.”

“Goodbye, Ryan,” Ryan repeated and Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

When Cas was alone at his table he stared at his phone again. It was Christmas, maybe he should just call Dean. He hated that his hand was trembling as he dialed Dean’s number and pressed the phone to his ear.

It rang a few times and his heart was beating way too fast for it to be considered normal. There was a click on the line and Cas gasped, ready to say something, but only Dean’s voicemail replied,

_ This is Dean. If you’re calling about a case, text me, it’ll get you faster results. If you’re calling for John, he’s been gone for… long enough that you should know that by now. And if this is Cas… I’m sorry. I miss you. Please come home. _

Cas instantly ended the call, waiting for his breathing and heart rate to return to normal. He didn't know what to think. Dean's words burned in his heart as if he had been stabbed with a hot iron. 

_ I’m sorry. I miss you. Please come home. _

Cas shook his head. Why would Dean say something like that? Dean hated him. He would never stop blaming Cas for his mother’s death. He told Cas, right to his face, that he was dead to him. And  _ now  _ he wanted him to come home?

Cas scoffed and dumped more sugar into his coffee. No. He would not return to the bunker. He couldn’t do this to himself. This was probably just one of Dean’s whims. And if he returned, nothing would change. Dean would still treat him badly and Cas knew he would only suffer if he went back. 

No, he needed to get over Dean. He couldn’t fall into this trap again. A trap of emotional abuse that only led to more self loathing. Dean’s and his relationship wasn’t healthy. It hadn’t been for quite some time, and leaving him had been the right – the  _ only  _ decision. 

He just needed to forget about this.

**…. :::: :::: ….**

A couple of days later his car was finally repaired, and the day before Christmas he was driving aimlessly through the countryside. He stopped in a small town, because the snowstorm had gotten too bad to drive. He didn’t go out to watch people, he just sat down on the bed and switched the TV on.

He was greeted by a song he had heard before.

_ The snow's comin' down _

_ (Christmas) I'm watchin' it fall _

_ (Christmas) lots of people around _

_ (Christmas) baby, please come home _

He sighed deeply and muted the TV before he pulled out his phone, staring at it for a few moments. Cas wondered if Dean's voicemail had gone back to normal.

Cas was angry with himself for giving this so much thought, but he knew the question would bother him for months in the future if he didn’t check. But what if he called and Dean answered?

He could hang up. Cas nodded, confident in the plan as he called Dean’s number, his finger already hovering over the button that would end the call.

The ringing stopped with a click before Dean’s voicemail message played:

_ This is Dean. It’s Christmas and we’re off duty the next few days, so if it’s an emergency, call 785-867-5309. If this is another spam call, you’re wasting your goddamn time. And if this is Cas, I’m sorry. Please come home. I love you. _

Cas ended the call with a gasp, his phone falling out of his hand and onto the floor. He picked it up and put it on the pillow, trying to understand what he had just heard. 

_ I love you. _

He didn’t understand what was happening. Why would Dean say that? His own thoughts spiraled and he wasn’t sure what he was feeling, nor how to react to it.

His hand hovered over the device for a moment before he picked it up again. Cas had changed his number. Maybe… maybe he should leave Dean his new number, just to see if he would call. If he would repeat those words.

He swallowed dryly before he dialed Dean’s number again. The voicemail repeated every word just as before. It hadn’t been his imagination. 

He cleared his throat. “Hello, Dean. It’s me. Cas.” He rolled his eyes about his own phrasing. Of course Dean would recognize his voice. He quickly rambled out his phone number without any additional information, and hung up. 

The wait after that was excruciating.

**…. ::::: :::: ….**

Months. It had been months, and they had no idea how to reach Cas. No clue if their prayers were being heard, and since he changed his number, Dean had no way to get a hold of him. So after a couple of weeks, Dean changed his voicemail to include a plea for Cas to come home. 

It quickly became a thing. Every couple of days he’d change the voicemail, always including the, “please come home,” at the end.

Cas never called.

And suddenly it was December, and then closer and closer to Christmas. And then it was the day before Christmas Eve, and Sam and Eileen begged Dean to take the day off, like he was some sort of Scrooge. He agreed, and spent the evening drinking and debating on what he should change his voicemail to. 

Dean blamed the spirit of the holiday for trying something different. Maybe a little honesty. He changed his voicemail again, and if Cas still didn’t call in a few days, Dean would probably change it back to normal. Because his hope was running out. Not that he blamed Cas for not reaching out to them.

Then Christmas Eve day came, and after sending the lovebirds to the grocery store to get out of his way while he got everything ready for dinner tomorrow, Dean focused on the turkey while he drank his whiskey straight.

That was when he realized he had left his phone in the library. Dean sighed and made his way to retrieve the damn thing, in case Sam had questions about the short list he sent them off with. Without looking, he grabbed his phone and made his way back. That was when the device vibrated in his hand.

Dean looked down and saw there was a missed call from an unknown number, and a new voicemail. He nervously licked his lips and held the device to his ear.

_ “Hello, Dean. It’s me. Cas.” _

He couldn’t help but smile and roll his eyes. As if Dean wouldn’t recognize that timbre. Dean scrambled for a pen and wrote the number Cas left him on his hand, before he took a swig of whiskey and started punching in the number. After he hit call, Dean took a deep breath and held the phone to his ear.

There was a crack on the line and he could hear Cas breathing. For a moment no one said anything before Cas whispered, "Dean?"

Dean swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Uh, hey, Cas…”

"Hello, Dean," the angel replied quietly. "I... um, I heard your message... on your voicemail."

_ Shit.  _ Dean honestly never expected Cas to hear it. He nodded, even though Cas couldn’t see, and breathed out, “Yeah?”  _ Dean Winchester, you eloquent motherfucker. _

"Yes," Cas replied slowly. It looked like Dean wasn't the only one being eloquent tonight. "Um, do you... um, how... I'm not sure what you meant."

“Please come home?” Dean offered. He knew he was being purposely obtuse, but in his defense, he never imagined he’d be having this conversation.

Cas sighed. "Did you just say it so I would come back?"

Dean took a deep breath as he scrubbed his hand over his face. “I… I may be a dick, but I’m not _ that _ much of a dick.”

The silence that followed his statement wasn't very comforting. "I... I don't know, Dean. I don't want to come back if... if nothing changes between us. I can't go back to how we were before."

“I… I know…” Dean sighed and took another swig of whiskey. “I’m… I’m not asking for the status quo. And I know we’ve got shit to work through, but maybe… maybe we can at least talk? In person?”

Another long pause. At least he wasn't hanging up on him.  _ Yet. _

"Alright," Cas finally agreed. "I can come back, for Christmas."

Dean cleared his throat. “How, um… how far are you from the bunker?”

**…. :::: :::: ….**

Cas's heart was pounding when he opened the bunker's door, making his way down the familiar cast-iron stairwell. It was Christmas morning when he had arrived, and the whole drive he had dreaded this moment, although a huge part of him had longed for it. He was torn. So incredibly torn. But he knew how important this was. He needed an answer to all of his questions. So he could be at peace and move on, or... He didn't dare to think of other options.

When Dean suddenly appeared in the war room, their eyes met, and Cas froze on the bottom stair. His last step down was insecure, his body trembling with the wish to turn around and leave. He swallowed dryly before he nodded at Dean. His voice breathless, "Hello, Dean."

Dean seemed hesitant at first, before he stormed over to him and yanked him into a hug.

Cas froze again for a moment, not knowing what to feel or do. But then he tried to relax, pressing his face against Dean's shoulder. A faint trace of leather and motor oil mixed with coffee found its way into his nostrils. Cas felt warm, his heart beating so loud, he could hear it in his ears. He wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him closer as he let out a breath he hadn't been aware of holding.

As Dean slowly drew back, his arms still wrapped around Cas, he slid a hand to cup his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Cas.”

Cas's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into Dean's hand, allowing himself to enjoy the moment of intimacy. When he opened his eyes, he was trapped by Dean's, the sincerity of his words mirrored in the green and golden flecks. "Do you know why I left?" It was time for the truth.

At that, Dean let out a mirthless chuckle. “Because I’m an asshole.”

Cas raised his eyebrow and shook his head with a scoff. "I'm used to that, Dean. I left because I couldn't bear the way you couldn't even look at me anymore. That you blamed me for your mother's death. I... I..." He shook his head. "You must know how I feel about you... I felt like I'd lost you, and staying here, it was just a painful reminder of..." He couldn't finish the sentence.

Dean gently swiped the pad of his thumb along Cas’s cheek. “I was angry, and… it’s not really an excuse, and I get if you don’t want to forgive me… and I didn’t know about your feelings, I just… I hoped.”

Cas really liked what Dean was doing with his thumb, and he hated how distracting it was. He gave him a pained look. "Dean, I... I feel the same. Have for so many years."

Dean sighed and nodded. “Me too.”

Although Cas had heard him say those words in his voicemail, it was still hard for him to believe. Maybe he was reading the situation wrong. It wouldn't have been the first time. "Like a brother?" he asked carefully.

Dean let out a soft scoff. “Only if this is  _ Game of Thrones.” _

Cas scrunched up his nose. He had seen the series with Dean. "I hope not." It was then he realized what Dean was insinuating. He swallowed dryly and stared at him, searching Dean’s eyes for an answer. “I… I don’t know what to do.”

Dean drew back and held his hand out for Cas. “I’ll make you a hot chocolate while you think.”

Cas took his hand and squeezed it. "With marshmallows?"

“Duh,” he said as he flashed him a smile and started walking them to the kitchen, never letting go of his hand.

It was nice. Really nice. 

Cas felt a tug at his heart, but this time it was a good feeling, almost like excitement. He couldn't help but smile as the thought slowly sank in:  _ Dean loves me. _

"Dean?" He tugged at his hand when they were in the kitchen.

Dean smiled. “Yeah?”

Cas pulled him closer, never breaking away from looking at him before he dragged Dean into another hug. He didn't know why he felt so brave in that moment. Maybe because Dean had held his hand. He gently rubbed his cheek against Dean's, and after inhaling a shuddered breath, he pressed his lips gently against his cheekbone. “I’ve missed you very much.”

Dean tilted his head just enough that their lips met in a gentle kiss.

It was enough to short circuit his brain and let his basic instincts take over. He hummed and hooked his finger into Dean's belt loop, pulling him closer as he carefully mouthed at Dean's upper lip. It felt addicting, new and exciting. He couldn’t believe Dean was letting him do this.

Dean’s hand came up to his neck, and he deepened the kiss as his other hand came to rest on Cas’s hip.

Cas gasped when he felt Dean's tongue sliding over his own. The way Dean was exploring him was robbing him of every conscious thought, and Dean's hands on him... he almost started to purr. "Dean," he murmured in between kisses. "I think I don't need a hot chocolate."

Dean chuckled against his lips. “Could always get it to go,” he murmured as he pushed Cas against a nearby wall and started kissing him again.

"Dean," Cas groaned in between kisses, "we should, hmm… maybe, uh, Dean, go to your, hmm… room?"

“Sounds like a plan,” he murmured as he gently bit Cas’s bottom lip.

Cas was seeing a whole new side of Dean, and it was incredibly exciting. He couldn't wait to see more, to learn more things about Dean. 

He intertwined their fingers and nodded with a soft smile, quickly pulling him towards the hallway and to Dean's room. Although he hadn't been here in months, for some reason it started to feel like home again. Something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

When they reached his room, Dean pushed him against the closed door and pressed another kiss to his lips. “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

"Christmas, baby, please come home," Cas murmured with a soft smile. "That was the song I heard when I decided to call you."

Dean barked out a laugh. “I guess I’ll have to write Mariah a thank you card.”

"You can do that tomorrow," Cas growled before he started to unbutton Dean's shirt. "Or maybe send it next year… we have a lot of catching up to do."

“Yes, sir,” he murmured as he pushed the door open and guided Cas to his bed.

Cas smiled and allowed Dean to take the lead. He wondered if this song, the song that had led him home, would now become  _ their  _ song. He knew that human couples had songs. Because that's what they were now. A couple. Maybe he would ask Dean about that. But not now.

Now he was enjoying coming home for Christmas.

**The End**


End file.
